Introduction Dear Sisters in Christ, Welcome to the 2002 Women's Mosaic Series, which was created for you by your sisters from the United Church of Christ Disabilities Ministries (UCCDM). What a wonderful time we had preparing this packet. We gathered in the fall of 2001 for a writers' conference where we had a chance for some of us to get to know each other better and others of us to meet for the first time. New faces or familiar faces, we formed a bond right away. We worshiped, laughed, shared difficult and joyous stories, made music, and wrestled with texts. We brainstormed where we wanted to go with our assignment and what it is that we wanted to share with you about our lives as they intersect with your lives. As we talked with each other, the theme for this series was born. One after another, we talked about our stories, our hopes and dreams, our realities, and the vision of sharing deep spiritual meaning with you, our sisters. Finally, the Rev. Norma Mengel (author of "Created to Be Interdependent within the Body of Christ" in the 2002 Women's Mosaic Series) said, "Listen, we're talking about being created in the image of God:' Thus, out of our exhilarating women's conversation came our title-"In God's Image." We offer to you an opportunity to reflect and journey with us on what exactly it means to be created in God's image and how exciting, scary, powerful, and hopeful that premise is. We, the authors of this packet, are women who are created in God's image. We are also women who live with and acknowledge living with disabilities. We wish to share what we have learned as our lives unfold. We also wish to give you courage and help for the time when your bodies or minds are not what you might wish or envision. And, we ask for justice, hope, and help as we go on living our ordinary lives. The surprise for you from this series might be that we are ordinary women, created in God's image. Nancy Eiesland, a 38-year-old, tenured professor at Emory University, who has lived with severe disabilities all her life, writes in her book, The Disabled God: Toward a Liberatory Theology of Disability, "The difficulty for people with disabilities has two parts really-living our ordinary, but difficult lives, and changing structures, beliefs, and attitudes that prevent us from living ordinarily." This may or may not be earthshaking news for you, but I hope it will begin to be a partnership of all women created in God's image, disabled and able-bodied, working to see and feel God's blessings in our lives and be energized as justice makers so that all may live ordinary lives. Then God said, "Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness."... God saw everything that God had made, and indeed, it was very good.-Genesis 1:26-31 May you see yourself just as you are when you hear these words. May you be glad in God's generous and lovely gift. Shalom, The Rev. Margaret (Peg) M. Slater Editor, 2002 Women's Mosaic Series Disabilities Ministries and Coordinator for Inclusive Ministry Parish Life and Leadership Ministry Team Local Church Ministries. Contributors THE REV. DALLAS DEE BRAUNINGER and her husband Bob have served churches in Colorado and Nebraska. Dee's ministry is currently a writing ministry. She is the author of fifteen published books, including Talking with Your Child about Change (Cleveland,: United Church Press, 1994). She is a graduate of Chicago Theological Seminary. Bob and Dee have two grown children. Dee is an active member of the Nebraska Conference Disabilities Ministries Task Force and the UCCDM. In the fall of 2002, Dee will be the editor of the UCNews section on disability, "That All May Worship and Serve:" SUSAN L. CLARKE, MMOC, resides in Concord, Massachusetts. She is a graduate of the New England Conservatory of Music in Boston. Susan is a flute recitalist and conductor. She is also an active activist on behalf of the environment and protecting people from chemical injury. Susan works with the Massachusetts Conference, United Church of Christ, concerning social justice issues. THE REV. DIANA COBERLY is pastor of the First Congregational United Church of Christ in Great Bend, Kansas. Prior to obtaining her master's degree in divinity from Pacific School of Religion in 1999, Diana worked as a counselor, specializing in addictions. She has worked on issues concerning people with disabilities for over thirty years, attending the first White House Conference on the Handicapped in Washington, D.C., in 1974. Diana is the parent of two adult children and one granddaughter. SHARON CROUSORE lives in Ashland, Missouri. She is the mother of Amy, Marcia, and Josiah. Sharon and her husband Bryan are active in the Mental Illness Network of the United Church of Christ. Sharon is an accomplished musician who teaches in Ashland. RITA FIERO is a registered nurse and a graduate of Hartford Seminary. She is the co-chair of the United Church of Christ Disabilities Ministries and a member of the board of directors of Wider Church Ministries, UCC. She is a former board member of the Coordinating Center for Women. Rita is active in the Connecticut Conference and a U.S.A. wide traveler on behalf of the UCC-she would travel the world if her van could handle oceans! THE REV. DIANA COBERLY Is pastor of the First Congregational United Church of Christ in Great Bend, Kansas. Prior to obtaining her master's degree in divinity from Pacific School of Religion in 1999, Diana worked as a counselor, specializing in addictions. She has worked on issues concerning PATRICIA WILLIAMS-LONG FRANKLIN 1S both a mother and grandmother. She holds an associate's degree in general education and a bachelor's degree in business administration. She resides in Connecticut and in Virginia. Trish has been active in the Connecticut Conference's Disability Ministries program. THE REV. VIRGINIA KREYER, born with cerebral palsy, is an ordained minister of the United Church of Christ. In 1977, at the Eleventh General Synod, she helped persuade the UCC to create the National Committee on Persons with Disabilities (UCCDM). She became its first consultant and held that position until her retirement in 1995. Virginia has written and spoken on the issues of disability for many years. She holds a master's of divinity degree from Union Theological Seminary in New York City and a master's of social work degree from Adelphi University in Garden City, New York. In 2002, the church and Virginia will celebrate her fiftieth year of ordination to Christian ministry. THE REV. NORMA MENGEL is an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ. She is a board member and consultant for the UCC Mental Illness Network. Previously, she served as a pastor in two Pennsylvania churches; an associate for program at the Council for Health and Human Services; and as president/CEO of the Visiting Nurse Association, York, Pennsylvania. She also authored the resolution, "Calling the People of God to justice for Persons with Serious Mental Illness (Brain Disorders)," which was passed at the Twenty-second General Synod in 1999. Norma has had clinical depression and has a son, brother, and uncle with bipolar disorder (manic-depression). THE REV. DORIS R. POWELL is an ordained minister of the United Church of Christ. She currently serves as Minister for Pastors and Seminaries in the Stewardship and Church Finances Team of Local Church Ministries in the national setting of the UCC. She is a member of South Haven UCC in Bedford, Ohio. JEWEL SHUEY is a native of Alabama who now resides in Connecticut with her husband Merlin. She is a mother and grandmother, a daughter and daughter-in-law who delights in her family. She is an activist who has a marvelous way of persuading the unpersuadable to do what needs doing. Jewel serves on the board for the UCCDM and coordinates the displays at General Synod. THE REV. PEG SLATER is an ordained minister of The United Church of Christ who serves in the national setting of the church. She is the inclusive ministry coordinator for the Parish Life and Leadership Ministry Team, Local Church Ministries. Peg is a member of the Euclid Ave Congregational Church, UCC. THE REV. JEANNE TYLER is an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ. Jeanne and her husband John are co-pastors of St. Paul's UCC in Lincoln, Nebraska. They have two grown sons. Jeanne is co-chair of the UCCDM and the founder of the Nebraska Disabilities Ministries Task Force. A graduate of Chicago Theological Seminary, Jeanne also loves opera and travel. WE 102 Designed and printed by United Church Resources, Local Church Ministries

Written by Rita Fiero I had a car accident in 1982, and I never walked again without the use of canes, crutches, and, finally, a walker. Song of Invocation "Spirit of the Living God" 283 TNCH ROMANS 8:37-39; PSALM 46:10 I AM! I AM! I AM MORE than a conqueror and what a blessing it is! My life seems to have been one test after another and not the least bit boring. The knowledge that I have experienced so much adversity and kept my faith is the real blessing. I know that whatever life sends me; I can, with the ever-present help of God, work through it and come out the other side as a wiser person! I should not be surprised by what God can do in our lives, but I am. It is not God's power I have doubted but my own ability to be quiet long enough to know God, the Word of God, and the Will of God for my life (Psalm 46:10). I have certainly not always felt like a conqueror and expect that times in the future may be just as frightening as in the past. But as a conqueror, I have past triumphs on which to build. I am convinced that neither the death of our gifted, twenty-six-year-old son, nor the challenge of life with pain and limitation, nor insensitive words of believers, nor hurtful attitudinal exclusion, nor the highs of personal success, nor the depth of suicidal depression, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus who suffered much more in his life than I in mine. Despite finding a path for my own journey, I do not expect everyone to understand, nor agree, that victory over difficult situations is possible. It is possible but it is very hard work and it takes, as long as it takes. "Well-meaning" words of comfort after my accident and at the time of our son's death often only silenced my words of lamentation. I felt my grief was not validated, and it gave the consolation to those who were uncomfortable with anything less than a stiff upper lip and smile from me. Swallowing my grief only prolonged the dark days. I had to get through the "going through" at my own speed. I had to work through my loss and grief as best I could and in my own way. No one should ever allow the expectations of others, even those who are closest and love us most, to pressure us to get on with life if we are not ready. But, we must also take the responsibility to choose to move ahead. To not choose is a choice! I am convinced the biblical directive to "Choose Life" translates into conquering the urge to curl up under a blanket forevermore because it is the safest place to hide. This decision, between life and isolation, is what makes for such hard work. A little solitude is a gift; too much solitude can be a burden. I had a car accident in 1982, and I never walked again without the use of canes, crutches, and, finally, a walker. In 1988, I started using a wheelchair. Walking is a highly overrated ability but preferable. Humor is highly underrated but a necessity. Humor and ingenuity have served me well over the years. I raised two teenagers while being very limited and devised creative ways to outsmart them. I had a terrible time getting them to clean up their rooms, so after fair warning, I dumped their loosely lying-around clothing out the second floor window of their rooms. The only thing I regret is not getting a picture of their faces as they saw the only house on the cul-de-sac, viewable from the main thoroughfare, in full dress. I don't think they were too psychologically damaged, and I am convinced that God also has a sense of humor. God, the parent, also laughed. I will never be able to do some of the things I did before the accident, but I can do things differently. There are discoveries and surprises along the journey of disability, and I would not trade them in for anything. That is not true of our son Michael's death. I would give anything, including my life, to have him back. But I feel grieving his death may well have been a catalyst to my healing. I had to face up to all of my losses, the frustrations of my disability, daily life with chronic pain, and sadness over the progressive illness of my husband. I have learned that the only acceptance of such losses is the acceptance that life will never be the same, and this must be sufficient until we come face-to-face with the author of all life. Only God knows our lives from the end to the beginning. Only God knows why. In July 2001, the most extraordinary experience of my life happened when I was invited to be a scripture reader at General Synod worship. I felt honored and agreed to do it. The reading came in the mail and I briefly looked it over wondering if I had finally extended myself a bit too much. I set it aside until the day before my scheduled presentation, when I began to practice reading it aloud. I did read it, over and over again. I had to stop. I had visions of my third grade teacher standing over me with a ruler telling me to read it correctly, "like you really believe what you're saying:" But I could feel nothing. I had become numb in order to survive what no parent should survive, let alone the other complications of my life. I knew I had endured, but I was now faced with the choice to conquer or to hide. Rising to the challenge would not make things "right" again, and I finally knew that in my heart, however, I was being forced to make this choice because I would never be able to sit before thousands and give praise to God and not feel that exquisite praise. I started to read and reflect on the words I was saying: "O Lord, our God, how majestic is your name in all the earth...." Alone in that hotel room, I found the perspective on life I had longed for and the words of praise flowed from me, not the paper before me. The next night, I read as if God and I were the only ones in the auditorium. My spirit was healed and I was granted peace beyond my understanding. I now know it is possible to give praise to God in all circumstances. I have become sincerely thankful for the short time we did have with Michael instead of being angry that our time was so short. I am happy I have gotten to know our beautiful daughter, Rebecca, as an adult and to have her friendship. I am truly blessed to love the man I married thirty-three years ago-even more than when we first wed. We will cherish the rest of our lives together because we know how truly precious that life is. God is good! All the time! Yes, God is good and worthy to be praised! Reflection Questions l. Have you been hurrying so fast that you need to wait for your soul to catch up to your body? Find a quiet place, a church, the woods, or a room in your house where you can shut out the noise of the world. Spend some time in silence listening for God's voice. What do you hear? 2. Write about the strengths you have gained from the most traumatic event in your life. First, step back from your trauma. Watch a good movie or chat with a friend. Next, for three days in a row, write for ten minutes about what you have learned from the negative experience. Finally, decide what you want for a victorious outcome and try to make the dream a reality. Transform your suffering into a sacrament. Be more than a conqueror. Suggested Hymns "When Peace, Like a River" ("It Is Well with My Soul") 438 TNCH "God's Eye Is on the Sparrow" 475 TNCH "There Is a Balm in Gilead" 553 TNCH Women's Mosaic Series 2002 UCC Women's Resource Margaret (Peg) Slater, Editor

A Weekend Retreat Based on Jewel Shuey's "Easter Lilies in November" [See "Easter Lilies" below.] INTRODUCTION This retreat must be held in genuinely accessible space-even if no one appears to need it. If you have questions about what accessible space requires, please contact the UCC Disabilities Ministries at 216.736.3838. All materials you send out and use at the retreat should be printed in 14-point print. FRIDAY EVENING Gather participants with food, either the evening meal or a simple "come off the road" snack. Be sure to include a welcoming grace. OPENING WORSHIP Opening Prayer We gather here this evening to worship you, O Holy One. We gather as women, created in your image, to know you and your will better. We gather to laugh and learn, and to be your faithful servants. Help us to do all these things as we see your face in our faces, and your miracles in everyday life. We ask all this in the name of Jesus, the Christ. Amen. Hymn "How Great Thou Art" is suggested by Jewel Shuey, the essay writer. The hymn can be found in the Methodist and Presbyterian hymnals. "Bring Many Names," 11 in The New Century Hymnal, is another choice. Scripture Reading Psalm 139 (one woman will read aloud, but have copies for all). Reflection Each person will reflect in silence on the entire Psalm or whatever portion caught one's attention (10 minutes). Community Building (Break into groups, 5-10 in number, depending on size of entire retreat group.) Reread Psalm 139. Ask each woman to share the phrase, section, or word that struck her as significant, interesting, or meaningful. Go around slowly, value what each has to say, do not challenge or debate, just live with each response. As a group, "rewrite" the Psalm in modern English based on what the group has heard. Read the "new Psalm" to the larger group. Post the "new Psalm" on the wall for the weekend. SATURDAY MORNING 8-9 a.m. Breakfast 9:15-10:15 a.m. Distribute copies of Jewel Shuey's essay, "Easter Lilies in November."* Have one woman read the essay aloud (make sure she has a copy prior to reading it in the group). Break into small groups and discuss: l. The essay itself 2. A time of trial each woman has experienced-was jewel's essay helpful? realistic? encouraging? discouraging? 10:15-10:30 a.m. Break 10:30 a.m.-noon Discussion (small groups-same or new) Discuss what you know about disability-your own or others, accessibility, welcoming people with disabilities.: Use selected essays from the entire "Women's Mosaic Series" packet-at least two to a group. Read the essay aloud, use the suggested questions for each one. Reflect on what each writer is saying. Suggestion: Do not use Doris Powell's essay at this time. Noon-1:00 p.m. Lunch SATURDAY AFTERNOON This is a spiritual retreat, so retreat. Walk, talk, nap, pray. Take time for yourself If you keep reading Genesis 1:26 and on, you will see that even God rests! SATURDAY EVENING 5:30-6:30 p.m. Dinner 6:45-9:00 p.m. Program We, who are active in the church, often do a lot of praising of God and that is very fine. There is a lot for which to praise God. Yet, we sometimes forget to lament. Lamenting is a time-honored way of communicating (see the Book of Lamentations ... read a little aloud) with God. Read Doris Powell's essay "Treasure in Earthen Vessels:" You might listen to selected pieces of "blues" tunes ... ask a member of the group ahead of the retreat to suggest some ... play music quietly in the background as you talk. As a group, or in small groups, answer the questions and do all or some of the suggested activities Doris Powell suggests at the end of her essay. Homework assignment: after you return to your room, write a lament to God. You may, or may not, wish to share it with someone else tomorrow. Write a lament and reflect on how you feel about what you said to God. SUNDAY MORNING 8:45-9:30 a.m. Breakfast 9:45 a.m. Worship Call to Worship Leader: Where can we go from your spirit? Where can we flee from your presence? People: It was you who formed my innermost parts; you knit me together in my mother's womb. Leader: We are fearfully and wonderfully made, wonderful are your works. People: In your book were written all the days formed for me when none of them yet existed. Leader: We come into this sacred space with joy. Prayer of Confession Holy One, we confess that we come to worship with bias and prejudice and ignorance. We are sorry. We will risk learning and changing. We will risk asking difficult questions. Please forgive us and help us to see you in all the wonderfully and fearfully made people of this world. Assurance of Pardon Leader: Be assured, beloved people of God, we/you are a forgiven people. Now go a new way. People: Thank you. Amen! Hymn "We Yearn, O Christ, for Wholeness" 179 TNCH Meditation Ask, in advance, three women to be prepared to respond to the work you have done together this weekend. Each woman should talk for about five to seven minutes. Prayers of the People Ask for three volunteers to pray. Ask for prayers from the group. Conclude with the Lord's Prayer. Hymn "Called as Partners in Christ's Service" 495 TNCH Benediction (with all gathered in a circle, holding hands) Go, my sisters, go in God's glory, just as you are. Go reflecting the image of God. Go as a woman who is welcome in God's world and welcoming to all of God's children. Invocation How great thou are, my God. We bring you praise as we begin to work together, as we read this essay, and look for you in our lives. Open our hearts to see our lives in the lives of others. Help our interconnectedness lighten our burdens, make paths easier for others, and be the people you wish us to be. How great you are, our God. Amen. PSALM 139, 46:10; PROVERBS 2:1-11; JEREMIAH 28:11-13; ISAIAH 61:1-2; COLOSSIANS 1:15-20 Meditation *"Easter Lilies in November" THE FOLIAGE IN NEW ENGLAND has been exceptionally beautiful and long lasting; perhaps God knew we needed it. After several nights with temperatures below freezing, the summer flowers and most of the fall flowers are gone. Only a few precious, colorful leaves remain. Winter is almost here. Oh, what that cold weather does to my hurting body, mind, and soul. I live with chronic pain, depression, fibromyaliga, cluster headaches, and several other health conditions. The first accident/collision was almost twenty-one years ago, only nine months after my marriage to my husband, Merlin, and my move from Alabama to Connecticut. I was a widow when I met Merlin. My late husband died of a heart attack, kissing me good night. Over the years I have lived with and struggled with disabilities. My Creator, my Messiah, has given me strength and inherent power to start and stay involved with the disability community. Many women, young and old, able-bodied and disabled, have inspired me to have hope in today and tomorrow. Some days the pain is so overpowering that I can't get out of bed. I know God is there, but I ask "where?" I just pray, pray, cry, moan, and even laugh. Sometimes laughter is the only medicine. Bernie S. Siegel, M.D., in his book, Love, Medicine, and Miracles: Lessons Learned about Self-healing from a Surgeon's Experience with Exceptional Patients (New York: Harper and Row, 1986) reminds me of this natural, God-given healing power. That fall, when Merlin was diagnosed with, perhaps, a fatal heart condition, I cried out "Where are you my God? Remind me you are with me, in the depth of despair, as I fall to pieces, again and again. But, with the mortar of your love and peace, you give me a beautiful piece of your love and joy." As I open my door to view a magnificent sunrise, there in my garden is an Easter lily with, not one, but two, beautiful white blossoms! How great thou art, my Creator and salvation! I am blessed. I had a Christian heritage. I have a ministry and I know that God has plans for me. I am blessed with a loving husband, a mother, a mother-in-law (my father and father-in-law lived into their eighth decade), two sisters, a large extended family and many good friends. Oh, how I give thanks! I gave birth to three beautiful daughters. I inherited another beautiful daughter and handsome twin sons when I married their father. I also have two beautiful stepdaughters from a past marriage. In my life today, I also have nine babies, my grandchildren, ages three through eighteen years. They are all pieces of me, all pieces of you, my Creator. Help me to remember you formed each one. I worry about the daughter with diabetes, the daughter who may have MS, the daughter whose only son has a traumatic brain injury; my man-child, and my teenaged grandsons, whose father chose not to see them and be part of their lives. Why can't I trust you, my God, with all the hurts each one will suffer in the world? For each question, I do not have the answers. I want to protect and hold my children close. I remember this and am reminded by many others, including the Rev. Robert Schuller, that "life's not fair, but God is good:" I know and believe this is true. But what I want for each one is to know your love and salvation for eternal life. I praise you and thank you for the miracle of life. For the wonderful way you made us, so whole, so perfect, in your image, for the treasure of love and forever. I feel so fragmented, so broken into so many pieces. How I hate the pain; always the pain. Is pain my enemy? Is fatigue my enemy? I feel so weary, so tired all the way into the future. My body, my spirit, my mind will not cooperate. This is not a pretty sight. Where am I? Who am I? When will I be (find) me? How can I bring the good news to the oppressed? When I can't get out of bed, out of my house? Are these my adversaries? Your adversaries? I will triumph! The power of love. You, my God, my Creator, made me in your image. I look again, inside and outside of my body, my spirit, my soul. I am perfect. I am whole. In the middle of the darkest night, the son, your son shines. I am your child. Years ago, on a visit to Israel with a study group of persons with disabilities, I remember seeing a dirty, mosaic floor that was built thousands of years ago. When we splashed small amounts of water on it, the stones looked new, beautiful, and magnificent beyond words. I, we, are just like that floor, each piece, the power of one, put together, by the mortar of God's love and Son shine from our Creator. A sight to behold! I have always thought of me, all of me, in many pieces! These pieces are held together with the mortar of God's love. I share the view of the Rev. Harold H. Wilke in his book, Angels on My Shoulders and Muses at My Side (Nashville, Tenn.: Abingdon, 1999). There are many ways God can put together the pieces of our lives. Wilke, a good friend to many of us, was born without arms. He has lived a rich, long life in his eight decades plus of life. He has served as a minister in the United Church of Christ; he is a husband, a father, and a lifelong advocate with and for people with disabilities. Wilke's life is an example of God's power in the world to overcome obstacles and transform the pieces of one's life into a masterpiece. In celebration of women from ancient times through modern times, I give praise and thanks to God the Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer. We are each a piece of the beauty, excellence, and wholeness of Her creation. We are God's own masterpiece. WE102 Designed and printed by United Church Resources, Local Church Ministries Women's Mosaic Series 2002 UCC Women's Resource Margaret (Peg) Slater, Editor WE102 Designed and printed by United Church Resources, Local Church Ministries

Written by the Rev. Virginia Kreyer Cannot we, persons with disabilities, nondisabilities, people of color, and persons from different cultures, compare our lives to a patchwork quilt? Invocation Leader: Spirit of God, come among us. Open our hearts to know your transforming presence in our lives. People: Come, Holy Spirit. Leader: Spirit of God, come among us. Brood over us that we may be filled with your love. People: Come, Holy Spirit. Leader: Spirit of God, come among us. Breathe into us your restlessness and courage that we may trust your promise of newness in our lives, in the church, and in the world. People: Come, Holy Spirit, renew they whole creation. Amen. 1 CORINTHIANS 12:4-27 MY GRANDMOTHER'S AND great-grandmother's generation made patchwork quilts. My mother's and my generation rarely, if ever, engaged in this wonderful art form. Within the last decade or two, purchasing and making patchwork quilts has been revived. A good friend suggested that the imagery of a patchwork quilt might be a basis for this essay. I was thinking about the suggestion when, a few days later, a young woman pastor told a group of us attending a workshop that making patchwork quilts was one of her favorite hobbies. The apostle Paul, writing his first letter to the church at Corinth, said, "For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.... Indeed the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot would say, `Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,' that would not make it any less a part of the body. . . . If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be?" (1 Cor.12:12, 14-15,17a). In other words, all of us are different. Before following our biblical theme further, let's look at the patchwork-quilt analogy a little more closely. A quilt is made of many different pieces of material, different colors, and often, different textures. The one who is making the quilt decides how the quilt should be designed and stitched together by a common thread. Once I heard of two women, living in different parts of our country, who made most of their daughter's dresses from the time the girls were infants until they reached young adulthood. Both women saved pieces of material from each dress they made. They have decided to make a patchwork quilt for their daughters, using the pieces of material from the dresses. One piece may remind one of the first day of school, while another piece may have brought back happy and sacred memories of confirmation day. No two pieces were exactly alike, but they have been stitched together by a parent's love. Cannot we, persons with disabilities, nondisabilities, people of color, and persons from different cultures, compare our lives to a patchwork quilt? Each one of us is a unique human being. No two of us are exactly alike. For instance, no two people have the same fingerprints. And we all have abilities and disabilities. Some people's disabilities are very visible, while other people have invisible disabilities that we may never know about unless we are told. These may be mental, emotional, or physical. Each one of us has strengths of one form or another that we need to put to use for our own fulfillment, for the good of others, and to the glory of God. As Christians, Jesus Christ brings us together, just as a quilter brings pieces of a quilt together. In recent years, we in the church have come to realize the value of telling and hearing autobiographical stories, as a way of witnessing to our faith. Each story is different because we, each, are unique individuals . . . no two of us face exactly the same situation or have the same experiences. Yet, as we look back on our lives, most of us can recognize the presence of God at various moments or times. We realize later, even if we are unaware of it at the time, that God has been with us. Just as the maker of a patchwork quilt draws the various pieces of material together with thread, so does God, revealed to us in Christ and known to us today through the power of the Holy Spirit, draws Christians together. I am not trying to imply that life for any one of us is easy. Life for some people is much more difficult than for others. Some individuals who are members of minority groups, such as persons who have physical disabilities, people who are mentally impaired, people who are emotionally disturbed, or people who are African Americans or any other minority group, still are discriminated against. Our world is so full of violence, hatred, injustice, and war that even when I know that persons with disabilities and other minority groups have been shamefully treated, and still are not always given a fair opportunity, we must be grateful that many, many more people are far more accepting of persons with disabilities than they were a hundred, fifty, or even twenty years ago! Societies, in general, and denominations, in particular, have been working since the late 1970s to remove architectural and attitudinal barriers. We finally have come to understand that we cannot be an inclusive church unless all people, regardless of their disability, color of their skin, or national origin, are welcome in Christ's Church. Some people will continue to exhibit anger or hostility toward anyone who is different, be they persons who are mentally impaired, mentally ill, or have physical disabilities or are members of any other minority group. The recipient of such hostility finds this to be very painful. It hurts! We need to remember, however, that such behavior stems from the fear of the nondisabled or nonminority individual that they, too, could have been born into a minority group or could have been born with a disability or could become disabled. This fear often is on a subconscious or unconscious level. Our calling is to help such a person or persons, if possible, acknowledge their fear. Only as an individual does, can he or she admit their fear and change their attitude and, thus, their behavior. In conclusion, let us: 1. Be thankful that society, in general, and the church, in particular, has begun to recognize that all individuals are precious, and must be allowed and helped to discover and use their God-given gifts. 2. Let us give thanks for our individual uniqueness and for Christ who binds Christians together as different pieces of cloth are brought together to make a quilt. 3. And finally, may each one of us, whatever our station in life, be granted strength to use our gifts and our abilities for the glory of God, remembering the words of Jesus who said, "Lo, I am with you always." 4. How can you encourage more persons with disabilities to become part of the congregation? Reflection Questions 1. How do you feel when you meet a person with a disability? 2. Is your church accessible? If not, how can it be made accessible? 3. Are there people in your congregation who are disabled? Are they welcome? Hymn possibilities "Spirit Of Love" 58 TNCH "Called As Partners In Christ's Service" 495 TNCH "In Christ There Is No East or West" 394 TNCH "Blessed Be the Tie That Binds" 393 TNCH Women's Mosaic Series 2002 Margaret (Peg) Slater, Editor

Written by the Rev. Jeanne Tyler The question of justice is one of exclusion. Invocation Persistent God, who never lets us go, come to us in this gathering. Open our minds and our hearts to wrestle with your words. Teach us not to sit politely by when we are not welcomed as the unique people we are. Help us to love ourselves as much as we love you, so that your gift of creating us in your image is not wasted on others or us. Help us be teachers and learners. Help us to follow your ways made straight in the wilderness. We ask this in the name of Jesus, the Christ. Amen. ISAIAH 35; LUKE 18:1-9 A SENSE OF HOMECOMING 1S the vision found in Isaiah, chapter 35. The way home from exile is an ecological treasure-with the land being glad and full of blooms. The dry, inhospitable, and even dangerous desert will be transformed. It shall be filled with streams of water and a way will be found through it. Best of all, the people who could be most easily left behind-the weak, the lame, the blind, the deaf, those unable to speak-will come to the forefront. All will be included, accepted, and affirmed at the center and the whole will be made holy. We will be a sign of God's presence in all our glory and differences. The question of justice is one of exclusion. Isaiah knew the vulnerable ones who might not make it home. Those with disabilities might not have enough strength or mobility to make the way home. They might be left behind because they were too much trouble. Were they even good enough to come home? As the land is transformed, so are the people. Those on the edges are now the center. Those with disabilities are not forgotten, not relegated to the least, or even out-of-sight, out of mind. Isaiah knew that any good homecoming is inclusive of all abilities. Isaiah also invites us to look at deserts and see crocuses in bloom, look at the little paths and imagine a highway, feel the fear of wild animals and know the safety of God. Isaiah invites us to know ourselves as whole and holy. The whole of creation changes, is transformed as we change our perception of ourselves and our abilities and disabilities. I was one of those who questioned if I was good enough to come home. I was born with mild cerebral palsy and a hearing loss. I have struggled to hear and be understood. I struggled to walk. And I struggled to know in whose image I was created. In Genesis, it says that God created humankind in the image of God, God created them male and female. One day I was meditating on this line, trying to get myself around this so I could more fully understand. There I was in the library of Chicago Theological Seminary, looking at my hand, and I understood that I was in the image of God. My hand, which could not take good notes or write well, was "in the image of God:" My hand, which spilt coffee and took more time to do dishes, was "in the image of God:" My hand, which I would have gladly traded was "in the image of God" and the rest of me as well. By the grace of God, I knew myself as in the image of God. I could come home. In the Gospel of Luke (18:1-7), there is a story from which I gain great strength. There is a woman, a widow, a woman without a man to speak for her. She must be alone. She should be powerless, but she is strong and determined. She does not take "no" for an answer from this judge who neither fears God nor regards humans. Can you see this woman dressed in black, perhaps bent over a little but with an attitude? What a hoot! She has been wronged, and she knows the judge can vindicate her if he wants. At first, the judge refuses her. He does not need to bother with her case. She is just a widow with another story of injustice. It does not concern him. She comes again to him with this same request, or is it a demand? And again she comes and again.... Finally, he says to himself, "Though I neither fear God nor regard humans, yet because this widow bothers me, I will vindicate her or she will wear me out by her continual coming:" And, he does. A persistent woman won, and our lives are enriched with justice! With inner strength and fierce determination, she received justice from this judge that neither feared humanity nor God. This attitude drives us to claim our place in a world that often does not want to trouble with us. We can draw courage from this deep well of stories about inclusion at the center of a redeemed life. Coming home to self is coming home to God. Coming home to God is coming home to self. Persevering, demanding justice, demanding a place at the table is faithful work for us all. Reflection Questions 1. When do you see yourself in the image of God? Do you? Why? Why not? 2. When do you see others in the image of God? Is it easier to see others than yourself? 3. What sense do you make of the visions of redemption and hope in the Hebrew Scriptures? Can they be updated to our time? How? Suggested Music "All God's Children Got a Place in the Choir" Women's Mosaic Series 2002 Margaret (Peg) Slater, Editor

Written by the Rev. Diana Coberly Invocation We approach you, O faithful God, assured of your welcoming attitude to all. You fearfully and wonderfully made each of us. We thank you that your love is with us, that nothing can separate us from your love no matter the way we see or hear, no matter the way we talk or walk, no matter the way we think or feel. Help each of us to be aware of how we exclude persons different from ourselves from knowing Jesus. As we gather in this place, awaken us to your goodness and mercy, that we may through the liberating grace you offer us, help create an attitude of inclusiveness for all. Amen. MARK 2:1-12 REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I felt shame about having a disability-about how I looked with a disability. It was when the newspaper reporters were taking my picture with Gene Autrey. I had just turned five years old, and a few months before I had been admitted to the hospital seriously ill with the polio virus. I was appalled about the fact that now I was going to be seen, all over Kansas, sitting in a wheelchair. I didn't even have braces yet. In fact, my legs look fine in the picture because the atrophy of my legs had not yet begun to show. But I knew that I was no longer whole. Something was wrong with me, not just with my body but with me. Now that sounds ridiculous! How could a five-year-old child, who had just recently become different from other kids, have developed a sense of shame about being handicapped? But I knew it was true. I not only remember the feeling, but I have the picture that shows my hand across my mouth, as if to hide from the camera. I know how this happened. It was because of the beliefs and attitudes of persons around me, including my parents. In Romans 8:38-39, Paul tells us that absolutely nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. And yet, I have heard, over and over, stories of persons with disabilities feeling ignored, criticized, blamed, and scorned by the church-by its liturgy, by its use of the scriptures, and by its members and their attitudes. What truly handicaps people with disabilities are the attitudes of others. And "others" means us-the people of the church. I believe that the Mark 2:1-5 passage of scripture models spiritual accessibility for all. Humankind's faith made Jesus accessible to the man who was paralyzed. We don't know about the faith of the man on the mat, but we do know about the faith of the four people who brought him to Jesus. Nothing could stop them from gaining access to the love of God through Christ Jesus: not distance; not the weight of the man who was paralyzed; not dusty roads; not crowds; not blocked entry to the house where Jesus taught. Today, most denominations have statements or resolutions calling for their local churches to provide physical access for per sons with disabilities. A 1995, a Twentieth General Synod resolution called on the United Church of Christ to be morally bound by the spirit of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) of 1991 (most religious institutions, organizations, or local churches are not legally bound to the provisions of the ADA). Many churches have devised ways for folks to be present in worship. Notice, I use the word "present," not "participate in," because many churches do not furnish large-print bulletins, hymnals, or assistive devices for people with hearing disabilities or open pews so that people in wheelchairs don't have to sit in the back or the front. However, little attention is paid to the concept of providing access to persons with disabilities to participate fully in the life of the church. Persons with disabilities are often unable to participate fully in the life of the church, not only because of the lack of physical access to the social hall, classrooms, choir lofts, and restrooms, but also because of the attitudinal barriers erected by members of the church community. Most Christian traditions equate perfect bodies with wholeness of the spirit. As a result, a large number of parishioners relate to persons with disabilities from one of three models: the person or family has sinned and is to be shunned; the disability is a gift from God and the person is treated in a paternalistic manner; or misfortune has befallen the person, causing him or her to be seen as a charity case. There are two other reasons why persons with disabilities are excluded from the faith community (all communities). We remind folks of the fragility and vulnerability of their bodies. There were many times I crossed a street or entered a store that I had no intention of visiting just because I didn't want to look at or acknowledge the person with a disability who was headed my way. Years later, I came to understand that the person I didn't want to see or acknowledge was me. Secondly, many people do not know what to say or do when they meet a person with a disability. Particularly, folks do not want to hurt or embarrass that individual or them-selves. Just as the four men in the Mark text provided the man who was paralyzed access to Jesus, faithful members of a congregation can invite persons with disabilities to lead a seminar or a roundtable discussion as a way to educate the entire faith community. In the process of examining why there is an impregnable wall between most commu-nities of faith and the community of people with disabilities, Brett Webb-Mitchell, in Un expected Guests at God's Banquet: Welcoming People with Disabilities into the Church (New York: Crossroad, 1994), identifies one problem as the issue of the difficulty of living in American society as someone who is different from the normal person. Our society, including the church congregations and parishes, attempt to make the person with a disability like everyone else, instead of accepting that person just as they are. Each of us has abilities; each of us seek fulfillment and wholeness; each of us has disabilities; each of us know isolation and incompleteness. In the way that the four men's faith allowed accessibility for the man who was paralyzed, we are called to be Christian agents and to act on our faith by removing barriers of attitude, economics, communication, and environment. Our churches cannot afford to be places filled with shamed people. If we are to take seriously that all of us are created in God's image, then we must change attitudes and bring down barriers that prevent people from finding joy in themselves as God's whole and holy people. May we lift the roof in praising God who created us, as we are, in God's image. Suggested Hymns "Help Us Accept Each Other" 388 TNCH "We Yearn, O Christ, for Wholeness" 179 TNCH "When Minds and Bodies Meet as One" 399 TNCH "Called as Partners in Christ's Service" 495 TNCH Questions 1. Remember back to when you were five. What were some wonderful experiences you had? What were some painful or hurtful ones? 2. What are the physical barriers of your place of worship for persons with disabilities? 3. What do you feel and think when you hear the word "disability," or when you encounter someone with a disability? 4. What role does your faith play in your attitude of inclusion-or exclusion? Women's Mosaic Series 2002 UCC Women's Resource Margaret (Peg) Slater, Editor

Serious Brain Disorders, formerly called Mental Illnesses Written by the Rev. Norma Mengel Invocation Creating, saving, and sustaining God, we thank you for creating us in your image, each having gifts that differ according to the grace given us, so that together we make up the whole body of Christ. Help us to learn new ways to encourage each other to develop our gifts to the fullest, to love one another with mutual affection, and to extend hospitality. May we be sensitive and helpful to one another in our areas of need. In Christ's name, we pray. Amen. ROMANS 12:1-13; 2 CORINTHIANS 1:4 ROMANS 12 HAS profound lessons for me as my spiritual journey leads me to reflect on the meaning of disability for myself personally and for ministry. From our human perspective, each of us comes with some kind of imperfect body. Some of us think we are too tall, some too short, some have arms or legs that are paralyzed, some have eyes that can't see, ears that can't hear, brains that are disordered, hearts that are weak. No matter the condition of our bodies, we are to give ourselves as a living sacrifice and know that we are holy and acceptable to God. We are made in God's image, and God wants our whole being. As we make this commitment of our whole selves, our minds are to be remade or transformed. We are not to model our thinking and behavior on the culture around us, but we are to let God's spirit within us, remake us so that our thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors are changed, enabling us to know God's will in all areas of our living. I will relate this passage to one area that has touched me deeply-attitudes toward persons who have what the "world" calls "mental illness" but accurately should be called "brain disorders:" Society would have us stigmatize, discriminate against, and exclude persons with these disorders from our "normal" world. Our transformed thinking would have our attitudes and actions be ones of love, acceptance, and hospitality. "Love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.... Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality" (Romans 12:10,13). "For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think.... For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us...... (Romans 12:3-6). Just as our human bodies have many parts, each with different functions, so it is with Christ's body. As The Living Bible puts it so vividly, "We are all part of Christ's body and it takes every one of us to make it complete, for we each have different work to do. So we belong to each other and each needs the other. God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well:" Persons with brain disorders or any other disability have many abilities and gifts to contribute and are needed to make the body of Christ complete. One's disability does not define the person. Each person has gifts and needs that differ from another person's gifts and needs. All are essential for the body of Christ to function at its fullest. It is my belief that God created us to be interdependent, not independent or dependent. This is an area where we must not let ourselves be squeezed into the world's mold. Society teaches us that independence is to be valued above all else and that a state of dependence is to be avoided at all cost. I think this creates an attitude of pride, arrogance, and a sense of isolation, causing people to think of themselves more highly than they ought to think: "I made it, why can't you?" It causes people to think that they are selfsufficient, with no need for God and no need for others. One of the hardest things for anyone to do in our culture is to ask for help. And yet, Jesus told us, "Ask, and you will receive:" I believe our relationship with God is one of interdependence and our relationship with others is also interdependent, we are called to be one body. My particular story and calling leading me to this understanding of interdependence and giftedness started in my nursing student days as I learned the marvelous workings of the human body through a study of anatomy and physiology. It deepened on a personal level when our son became ill with a brain illness called bipolar disorder at the age of seventeen. In the depth of the pain, we experienced both a profound sense of God's comfort directly and through some members of the body of Christ and a profound awareness of the stigma, discrimination, and isolation toward these illnesses in society and the church. Our health insurance didn't consider these brain illnesses as physical illness, though the last time I looked, the brain is a very important member of the body. To this day, there is a great inequity in insurance coverage for needed treatment of brain illnesses. The congregation, of which we were a part at the onset of the illness, demonstrated transformed minds and attitudes and shared deeply their gifts of compassionate caring. Later, our life journey took us to a different part of the country and to a different congregation where few offered help, few visited when he was hospitalized or even asked about his welfare. We withdrew, became silent about the illness, and felt like modern-day "lepers:" It was only after we, as a family, found the joy of interdependence in support groups of other suffering persons, that we found new friends and were able to come out of "hiding," talk openly about the disability, become involved with the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI), become better educated, find the best treatment, and use these new gifts in the body of Christ to minister with and to other persons with their unique disabilities and abilities for the welfare of the whole body of Christ. As people met our needs, we were able to meet others' needs. Persons with identifiable disabilities have unique needs, but each also has unique gifts and is essential in making Christ's body whole. For starters, "we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God" (2 Corinthians 1:4). The ministry of presence is a great gift to offer. Our son has this gift and many others to offer the body of Christ. He has a beautiful tenor voice, a believing heart, and a compassionate spirit. He is a choir member, a generous person, an employee, a son, a brother, an uncle, and he has a recurring illness, bipolar disorder. His illness does not define him. He is not a manic-depressive. He is a person who has an illness who periodically needs help in caring for himself. He needs medication; he needs other people's respect, love, and prayers; he needs God's comfort and mercy. He does not need to be part of some marginalized, stereotyped group of people called "the mentally ill:' No, he is a person who is "fearfully and wonderfully made" in the image of God, who has been given unique gifts to use in making the body of Christ whole. We were created to be interdependent, members one of another, with all our gifts working together to make up the body. One person's disability is filled in by another person's ability. When any one of us, or a group of us, is excluded because of some lack of ability, we are prevented from using our God-given gifts to make Christ's body complete. Together let us make the beautiful mosaic that God intends. Reflection Questions 1. What are your strengths (abilities)? What are your weaknesses (disabilities)? 2. Can you describe a time when you recognized you were interdependent and needed the gifts and help of other people? How did you feel? 3. What is the world's view as it relates to persons with disabilities? How does this compare with the teachings in Romans 12? 4. Do you know anyone with a brain disorder? Are these persons an integral part of your church's life? If not, why not? 5. What are some of the ways your congregation or your family can practice hospitality so that all members of the body experience genuine love and each can be encouraged to develop their gifts so that the whole body is functioning as God intends? Litany One: We are called to proclaim the truth. Let us believe. All: This is true: Jesus said," I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." One: It is not true that persons with brain disorders or other disabilities are second-class citizens and must accept isolation, discrimination, and stigma. All: This is true: All people are made in the image of God and are people of worth, holy and acceptable to God. One: It is not true that brain disorders are weaknesses of character and cannot be treated. All: This is true: Brain disorders are treatable. One: It is not true that stigma, discrimination, and neglect shall have the last word. All: This is true: The church is called to take the lead in stamping out societal stigma and discrimination and to welcome and affirm all people as children of God, with gifts that differ according to the grace given us. One: It is not true that we were created to be all sufficient and independent. All: This is true: We were created to be interdependent-all a part of the body of Christ with different abilities and different work to do and it takes every one of us to make the body complete. Thanks be to God. Suggested Hymns "Called As Partners in Christ's Service" 495 TNCH "Won't You Let Me Be Your Servant?" 539 TNCH 2002 WOMEN'S MOSAIC SERIES WE102 Designed and printed by United Church Resources, Local Church Ministries Women's Mosaic Series 2002 UCC Women's Resource Margaret (Peg) Slater, Editor

Written by Susan L. Clarke About living with chemical sensitivities Invocation Oh God, in whose image we are all made, give us courage to embrace our family of earthly sufferers. Your creation, as we embrace you; knowing that our bonds in suffering bring insight, empathy, healing, and joy. Amen. PROVERBS 24:11-12; JOHN 9:1-3 IN MY DREAM, I dove into a bubbling stream and resurfaced on the far shore in a glistening white gown. A wide field with groves of trees spread out before me. Musicians appeared with instruments of every kind and, beyond them, a huge choir. I lifted my baton, like a wand, to elicit the beauty of the whole. Glorious music suspended us all in heavenly bliss. Waking, I was struck by the loss of my dream to be a conductor, for which I had sacrificed much. In 1985, I had left my parents' home outside Philadelphia. Generally penniless and in intolerable housing conditions, I had received a master's in orchestral conducting at the New England Conservatory in Boston. Because of a prior bout with pneumonia, airborne chemicals in cities made me ill. Nevertheless, I persevered and succeeded-to a point. In 1988, the director of Affiliate Artists, the primary agent for young conductors, announced at the Aspen Music Festival, where I was a Fellow, that I was "one of the most talented, musical, artistic young conductors in the country." But the cologne worn by one of the conductors there overwhelmed me, as if needles pierced my innermost sinuses at every breath. I had to leave conducting class for fresh air. The first day of the 1991 Tanglewood Festival, fellow class members complimented me on my conducting of Beethoven. Wanting to show hospitality to the Europeans, I invited them to the lake to swim. On that gorgeous day, I floated, thinking how healthful the summer would be. A passing boat stirred pleasant waves. Water went over my head and into my left lung. As I walked to shore, I squished two dead fish apart on the bottom of the lake. I had never before seen dead fish there-they usually nibbled on my legs-but I thought nothing of it. The next morning, feverish, with the lung inflamed, I dragged myself to class. I was extremely ill the rest of the summer and learned only when the festival was long over-and my professional prospects ruined-that the lake had been algaecided the day before the incident. In delirious fevers, I bargained, "God, if you heal me-if you give me even a little health, I'll do anything for you. I'll go to Washington. I'll walk straight into the White House:" However, I was mostly bedridden for years. A toxicologist commented, "You really got dosed:" Endless hours of painful debility, migrainous vomiting, pleas for healing, and sleepless questions-why, how, and what now-filled the decades of my prime-of-life. The humiliation of needing governmental assistance and having to fight for it repeatedly, often while homeless or living in someone else's home, stole my dignity. Employers, hospitals, and churches refused to accommodate me. My body-temple needed a clean earth that no longer existed. Diagnosed with permanent, disabling, multiple-chemical sensitivity disorder and common migraine, my dreams died-dreams of conducting, of health, a home, a husband, and a child. "Where there is not vision, the people perish," the prophet Isaiah astutely notes. I nearly died many times. Between the cracks of illness, a vision emerged. On my well days, I sat in classes at Harvard School of Public Health and scientific conferences, studying the forefront literature on toxins. Each excursion required days of recovery. I learned to speak "scientese" and "bureaucratese": "Laboratory mice will die within sixty minutes of secondhand exposure to many commercial perfumes. The US GAO report on neurotoxicity confirms that death in mice indicates brain cell death in humans." Presenting at conferences, I'd put on a TV smile, no matter how ill I felt. Protecting life on earth now meant more to me than my own life. One day I said to the kindly woman who gave me room and board, "Fran, I wish I could go to Washington and get something done." To my astonishment, she bought me a plane ticket to D.C. I considered flying impossible with my illness. However, because of Fran's generosity, I had to go, and I did, wrapped in barrier cloth. Three days of hellish recovery followed the flight. With my respirator and oxygen tank in tow, I plastered Capitol Hill with scientific studies, meeting with legislative aides and agency officials. Thereafter, if I had $20 to my name, I would drive the ten hours to D.C. People advised me, opened their homes to me, provided me organic food and open windows, and tolerated vomit. On the Hill, I lobbied daily for clean air, water, and food for everyone, for protection from chemical injury. Then a miracle happened. While in a law office, where I could barely breathe, a call came in from the White House. Two days later, the materials I was distributing were in A1 Gore's hands. The federal government recognized chemical sensitivity for the first time, through the appointment of an interagency workgroup. Years earlier, feeling abandoned by society and God, I had knelt by the Charles River in Boston, whispering coldly, "God, why did you do it?" The last thing I had expected was an answer. Two came to mind. First, when Jesus was asked about a man born blind, whether the fault was the man's or his parents; he answered, "so that God's power be displayed," and healed the man. Second, when Jesus knew a close friend was ill, he intentionally stayed away two days, allowing the friend to die. "Criminal negligence," courts would now determine. He ultimately raised the man from the dead. Prior to the miracle, though, Jesus wept. It was hard to believe at the time, but I understood that God had not stopped caring and intended something powerful by my illness. Today, provided that others help protect our common air, I have my health. I give expert testimony in public health science, work for justice, and write professionally. I am a flute recitalist at Trinity Church-Boston and believe I will conduct again. I have a nontoxic home and have marital prospects. My life is fuller than I could ever have dreamed. I am most grateful for the enlightenment of disability. Reflection Questions and Activities 1. How do you feel when someone says they are reacting to your hairspray, perfume, or lotion? Do your feelings change over time? 2. Imagine you are the CEO of a chemical company. Millions of people buy your products, however, many, many people report immediate, serious medical problems in reaction to what you consider low levels of chemicals used. What do you do? 3. How should society provide for and learn from veterans of recent conflicts, many of whom have been disabled by chemical injuries and/or sensitivity? 4. Where do you think God is when we have to ask hard questions about things we don't know much about? 5. Check the ingredient lists on your own food, cosmetics, laundry, and maintenance products, noting how many in each seem to have been created in a lab rather than in nature. Estimate how much your household spends each year on such products. Try living as a chemically sensitive person for a week, going without them. How do you feel? Suggested Hymns "My Heart Is Overflowing" ("The Song of Hannah") 15 TNCH "O God, My God" 515 TNCH Women's Mosaic Series 2002 UCC Women's Resource Margaret (Peg) Slater, Editor

Written by Sharon Crousore OUR DAUGHTER LOST HER MIND. Others lose their sight or hearing or ability to walk. What trauma and challenge that is. Invocation Let us give thanks to the God and heavenly Parent of our Savior Jesus Christ from whom all help comes! God helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God. Just as we have a share in Christ's many sufferings, so also through Christ we share in God's great help and we are given the strength to endure with patience. So our hope in God is never shaken, we know that just as God shares in our sufferings, others may also share in the help we have received. (Adapted from 2 Corinthians 1:2-7.) MICAH 6:8 OUR DAUGHTER LOST HER MIND. Others lose their sight or hearing or ability to walk. What trauma and challenge that is. For Amy, just as she was finishing a wonderful junior year in college, in the midst of applying to graduate school and anticipating her career and the rest of her life, while being active in her church, being a very independent and hardworking young woman, the loss was of her mind. Seven a.m. in the practice room in the music building. She couldn't seem to memorize one particular measure of a Beethoven sonata that otherwise was totally memorized. Eight a.m. The classroom becomes blindingly bright, then fades back to normal. The walls begin closing in, then receding far away, then closing in again. Noon: Sounds of the campus, the carillon, dorm noises, conversations a block away on the quad, all are amplified like a Rolling Stones concert. Nine p.m. Home at last, but the little pumpkin candle on the end table suddenly comes alive, mocks her, taunting her, threatens her. The next day O.K. Everything normal. A couple of days later: She can't leave her apartment because everything out there is gone. Only her apartment continues to exist. Everything else is a desert, and if she stepped outside, she would sink into the sand and cease to be. She is losing her ability to remember the steps of taking a shower, of getting dressed, how to wash the dishes or prepare a meal. Two days later, she goes to the campus medical clinic and is told she is suffering from "stress:" Never mind that she is having a great semester. Even though, by then, she is having auditory, olfactory, tactile, and intense visual hallucinations. She protests that diagnosis. She keeps telling the clinic counselors that something was wrong with her brain, but no one would listen. Rather, she is told that this was a psychological problem and that she needed to work through these problems by herself. She was not to tell her family or to seek their assistance while she went to "counseling:" It is a year of hell. After two hospitalizations, she defies what her doctor was telling her to do and confides in her father what was happening to her and what her symptoms were. He recognized immediately that this was a medical emergency. Now that her father and I are involved, we seek other medical advice and treatment as a family rallying around one member who is ill. She is finally believed and diagnosed with schizophrenia, which we find out, is a very common brain illness. Her illness is and remains devastating. The pain of the illness, the side effects of medication, the misinformation, the jokes, the shunning by friends and coworkers, the horror of losing one's ability to think, facing night after night of vivid nightmares seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling the horrors, and the lifetime of struggle just to survive in the poverty enforced by our society are all an exhausting challenge to even the strongest Christian. Out of the depths I cry to you, O' Lord. I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope. -Psalm 130:1, 5 But she has survived. And she has lived her faith. Every day, no matter how ill, she has done something kind or helpful for someone else. She constantly struggles to make ends meet, but she shares. She works to educate people on the signs of schizophrenia and the importance of getting good medical care as early in the course of the disease as possible. She freely talks about her illness to help others cope with the terrible stigma in our society. She tries to educate the media, our legislators, and our churches. And so do her father and I. Our God gives us hope. The Holy Scriptures say "What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God" (Micah 6:8). We, too, try to do justice-we speak up when people laugh about schizophrenia, when they make jokes about "schizos;" tranquilizers, Prozac, "nut cases," when they assume that all persons with schizophrenia are dangerous when, in fact, persons with schizophrenia are far more likely to be the victims than the perpetrators of violence. We educate where we can, and we strive for justice for others with this and similar illnesses by joining with others in the Mental Illness Network UCC to make our own denomination a more caring community and by doing as much legislative advocacy as time allows. We will walk the journey with our daughter as long as we are alive and, in doing so, we walk humbly with our God. What will you do? One in one hundred young people will be struck with this disease. Will our churches abandon them and their families? Some will already be married. How will you treat their spouses? Some will have children. Will their parent's illness be a shameful subject that is whispered about in the aisles and kitchen at your church? "What does the Lord require of you?" Schizophrenia is an equal opportunity disease striking young men and women alike, rich or poor, of all intelligence levels. There is no way to prevent it and no way of knowing who will be struck. But there are new medications and supportive therapies that help. And we can help people in our congregations cope with schizophrenia's initial onslaught and the following lifetime of care. We have an opportunity to do justice, to be merciful, and to walk humbly with our God by walking with those whom God loves. Reflections and Questions 1. Have you known anyone with schizophrenia? 2. What was their illness like? 3. Are they receiving the new medications that have been invented in the last eight years? 4. Does God care about the people who are struck with schizophrenia and their families? 5. Does God care about persons with the other brain illnesses like bipolar disorder, panic disorder, clinical depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder? 6. Could you do just one of these things to respond to God's word to do justice and love mercy? Learn about schizophrenia, how to recognize its symptoms, and where to find appropriate and competent help in your community. Participate in a community effort that provides care for persons with mental illness. Learn about and help to improve laws and governmental services for those with mental illnesses. Educate your congregation, your community, and the media representatives in your community about appropriate language to use when describing a person with a mental illness. Find a family in your church or neighborhood who has a family member with a mental illness and offer to help with emotional or practical support. Contact Persons and Organizations The Mental Illness Network of the United Church of Christ; c/o Bob Dell; 414 E. Pleasant Ave.; Sandwich, Illinois 60548; 815.786.6341; . Pathways to Promise: Interfaith Ministries and Prolonged Mental Illnesses; 5400 Arsenal St.; St. Louis, Missouri 63139; or . The Rev. Margaret (Peg) M. Slater; Coordinator for Inclusive Ministry; Parish Life and Leadership Ministry Team, Local Church Ministries; United Church of Christ; 700 Prospect Ave. E.; Cleveland, Ohio 44115-1100; 216.736.3838; < slatermCucc.org>. NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill); 200 N. Glebe Rd.; Suite 1015; Arlington, Virginia 22203-3754; 703.524.7600; NAMI Helpline at 800.950.6264 (answered from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. EST Monday through Friday); or . National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association; 800.826.3632; . Suggested Hymn "O God in Whom All Life Begins" 401 TNCH Resources Ross, Jerilyn. Triumph over Fear: A Book of Help and Hope for People with Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Phobias. New York: Bantam Books, 1994. Gold, Mark S., with Lois B. Morris. The Good News about Depression: Cures and Treatments in the New Age of Psychiatry. New York: Villard Books, 1987. Kernodle, William D. Panic Disorder: The Medical Point of View: There Is No Need to Suffer. Richmond, Va.: Cadmus, 1995. Klein, Donald F., and Paul H. Wender. Understanding Depression: A Complete Guide to Its Diagnosis and Treatment. New York: Oxford University Press, 1993. Peschel, Enid et al., ed. Neurobiological Disorders in Children and Adolescents. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1992. Shifrin, Jennifer. Pathways to Understanding: A Manual on Ministry and Mental Illness. Pathways to Promise; 5400 Arsenal St.; St. Louis, Missouri 63139; phone: 314.644.8400. Torrey, E. Fuller. Surviving Schizophrenia: A Manual for Families, Consumers, and Providers. 3rd ed. New York: HarperPerennial, 1995. Turkington, Carol, and Eliot F. Kaplan. Making the Prozac Decision: A Guide to Antidepressants. Los Angeles: Lowell House, 1997. Woolis, Rebecca. When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness: A Handbook for Family, Friends, and Caregivers. New York: J. P Tarcher/Perigree, 1992. WE102 Designed and printed by United Church Resources, Local Church Ministries Women's Mosaic Series 2002 UCC Women's Resource Margaret (Peg) Slater, Editor

Written by the Rev. Dallas Dee Brauninger The attitude was different the first day I entered that gathering room with a mobility cane. Prayer of Invocation Leader: Mindful that from the genesis throughout the revelation of our lives, God creates, reveals, and renews God’s promise of hope for us, All: Let us be faithful to our commitment to you, O God, and to one another. Amen. Leader: As birth, disease, accident, or maturity brings special needs to those within this church, All: Guide us, O God, as bringers of your hope. Amen. Leader: As we increase our skill in reading the signs of change among church members and anticipate their needs, All: Guide us, O God, as your welcoming people. Amen. Scripture References Jeremiah 29:11-114; Revelation 21:5 Meditation “Bessie, you warm my heart,” I said. Having forgotten her glasses, our women’s group secretary handed me a note to read. “Forgetting my blindness is a compliment.” The attitude was different the first day I entered that gathering room with a mobility cane. Bernice jumped up, grabbed me by the elbow, and planted me in a chair. For seven years, my husband and I had been her co-pastors. I could not lose her now. When she released me, I said, “But Bernice, I was headed for the kitchen.” I went for a slow drink of water. I felt invalidated. Folks had respected my skill at coping with deteriorating eyesight. The unannounced cane, however, transmuted this invisible journey into a seeable disability. Failing to thrive six weeks after premature birth, I had been sent home with frightened parents. Mom dared not bond, moving beyond guilt only late in life. In time, I concluded that visual chaos from the birth-damaged eye/brain connection was not the fault of hospital, parent, or an unfaithful God. It just happened. Dad’s quiet coaching about other ways to see carried me through a double major in college and then, with recorded textbooks and keen ear, through seminary and into a future with hope. Ever-present, compassionate God, who created the human family with freedom, provided also a resilient curiosity and ingenuity. Now, having convinced others in the 1960s that a woman with a disability is not only ordain-able and hire-able but also a potential treasury of compassion and joyful enthusiasm, I refused to let disability handicap. No invalid, I had to explode outdated attitudes. Sunday’s sermon: “The Mobility Cane as a Tool.” Soon several members began testing the eye contact I simulated by following voices. I would respond to a voice then find it coming from a new direction. I chose to skip that game. The cane became a symbol of triumph. Before long, other needed canes appeared in church. When rheumatoid arthritis troublesome in youth returned in earnest, I could not stand long in place. The trustees furnished the pulpit with a removable riser and bar chair. When I preached, everyone settled in for a “sit down” visit as comfortable as the eye level chats had been with care center residents when I rolled about in a wheelchair one Lent. Twenty years and two churches later, the mutual education continued. Soon after I, seated, greeted Christmas Eve worshipers, Twila also broke tradition to greet with her husband, seated. Now, additional changes erupted as the RA intensified anywhere it chose. It took the jaws I needed for preaching and singing. For a while, I let it take joy. Plan B: Redefine ministry. Midway through a hospital chaplaincy program, I saw the insulting potential of ignored body messages. I stopped Plan B and returned home. I loved my calling. I was sunk. I hollered, “Just what do you have in mind for me, God?” I had to know God would not give up, that I was still acceptable. Amid this outrage of exile, the Jeremiah passage and Plan C found me. I began to trust. Grabbing a single thread of quiet, pervasive hope. I phoned visual rehabilitation. “Help, Karen, I’m using up my talents.” Almost casually, I added, “All that’s left is writing.” Within a week, an adapted computer arrived. Later, a Web screen reader would open another world of communication. Conference advocates gained quiet invitations that promoted my ministry of writing. I was assigned “Talking with Your Child about Change.” Another editor requested “A Family Journey” and the “Preaching the Miracles” series. Disability was only one part of my identity again. Thread by thread, I tatted new fabric, discerning within its intricate texture the old joy and gratitude for being whole. I cherished the unique design that overrode disability. I resolved to meet change until I can only sit and be. With the persistence of raspberries ripening in autumn, God’s presence comes out on the side of hope. “See,” God’s holy nudging and the Revelation writer sings, “I am making all things new” (21:5). Church folk learned together about disparaging and welcoming layers of attitude. Tiny things undo or fortify us. With a diagnosis of diabetes solving my new maze of foggy thinking, we all gained new levels of community. Respecting the perimeters of a disease whose management is as varied as forms of blindness became acceptable to others as well as to me. A glass of water chosen over sugary desserts still lubricated table talk and need not offend the server. Others also stopped jeopardizing their health. Simple foods, welcoming to all, appeared at shared meals. Despite girding myself with a dog guide and a miscellany of other tools, when my feet needed triple thickness socks and clodhopper athletic shoes, a surprising vanity reared. I remembered the meticulous women of another church who, seeing only my blindness, readily dispensed unwelcoming pity but refused to offer a quiet word to remedy my clashing through Advent in a mismatched red outfit. I cringed at the thought of again dressing like “the blind.” Unwilling now to wear clumpy white socks and shoes to church, I brought to women’s fellowship an old yearning to be a regular kid. Gwenda set me straight. “Well, do they help?” I was no longer lonely. Earlier, my can-do attitude had embarrassed Emma’s offer of assistance at a potluck. After the shoes, she dared try again and something within me melted. Less caustic about my body, I had become more hospitable toward others. When hand greeting became impossible, I wore my computer splint. No one would touch me then until I extended the hand palm up. Then Stu laid one tender finger on my outstretched palm. With it, he conveyed the full warmth of his Nebraska farmer handshake. One by one the congregation took his cue, and I melted again. Hospitality spread. Today, an interpreter signs for a deaf mom. A pew-back stand holds the large-type hymnal for a fragile member. Will we redesign chancel steps so choristers awaiting joint replacement can still sing? Sidewalk railings ensure security. Levers replace knobs. Hand-carved signs identify bathrooms. Will we convert them into a universal space so wheelchair-users can drink another cup of coffee with their friends? Reflection Questions 1. Recall a life change that cast you into spiritual exile. Tell about God’s gathering you in and restoring you to wholeness. Any new tools for your journey? 2. What do a sense of wholeness, the holy, and wellness within a body with broken or ailing parts mean to you? 3. Why might you feel uncomfortable at first around a person with a disability? 4. What speeds your transition from identifying a person with a disability, for example, as a blind person, to perceiving that individual as someone who happens to be left-handed? Share your wisdom about influencing the attitudes of others who might see only the disability and miss the whole person. 5. Aware that little things count, what changes in the physical environment within and around your church building would free older folk to continue attending worship and other gatherings a little while longer? What changes might welcome newcomers with disabilities? Hymns “We Are Your People” (#309 NCH) “Called As Partners in God’s Service” (#495 NCH) Benediction May God guide this living church as we aim to do whatever it takes from the quiet, welcoming act to the visible or costly physical change that reflects God’s life-giving plan for a future with hope. Amen. Extra Credit: How good are you at reading the signs? Be someone who uses a walker, a wheelchair, whose eyesight is wearing out, who has fragile hands or little strength, who can sit for only short times, who lives with a mental illness, who is sensitive to perfumes and other toxic substances, who cannot hear well. In teams of two, try on a variety of these disabilities then attend worship or walk throughout your church building and grounds. Take the resultant “to do” list to your Access Ability Committee. Further Reading National Organization on Disability (N.O.D.) Website: www.nod.org. Brauninger, Dallas A. Holy E-Mail (CSS Publications, 2001) _________. Lessons from a Dog Guide (Forthcoming from CSS in 2003) Mild, Mary L., Editor. Women at the Well (Judson Press, 1996) Women's Mosaic Series 2002 Treasure in Earthen Vessels UCC Women's Resource Margaret (Peg) Slater, Editor

Written by the Rev. Doris R. Powell I WAS THIRTY-TWO. I'd just been backpacking in Colorado and was painting my house when I began to experience mysterious symptoms: swelling and pain in my hands, then an elbow, soon my shoulders, knees, and ankles. I went to work swathed in ace bandages. Within two months, I'd been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Invocation Holy One, come among us. Walk this faith journey with us as we learn from our sisters and experience the stirring of our own deep yearning for you. Amen. CORINTHIANS 4:7-11; EPHESIANS 3:16-21 I WAS THIRTY-TWO. I'd just been backpacking in Colorado and was painting my house when I began to experience mysterious symptoms: swelling and pain in my hands, then an elbow, soon my shoulders, knees, and ankles. I went to work swathed in ace bandages. Within two months, I'd been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. The doctor said, "It's not a death sentence," speaking of life expectancy. No, I thought, "It's a life sentence" to a body in which my expectancy about life was changed. I was thirty-two ... going on eighty. I was familiar with Elisabeth Kübler Ross's stages of dealing with loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I managed partial denial for almost two years. I would learn the "lessons" it had to teach me, and then it would go away. What I wasn't prepared for was an identity crisis. Perhaps it was because I'd just moved, and no one in my new community knew me. Everyone was reacting to this stranger who wasn't me. They saw a woman hurting with every movement, constantly exhausted, struggling to keep up. They didn't know the active, energetic person I'd always been. They didn't know me. Over and over I asked: "Who am I, God? Am I the lively, capable person I've always known myself to be, or this stranger sidelined by pain? Is it healthier to fight this, or accept it?" The poet Rainer Maria Rilke counsels, "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart.... Live the questions now." The day-pain forced me to wear moccasins with my elegant business dress to a corporate meeting; I slipped from suffering into affliction. I'd looked forward to meeting many colleagues I'd only known by phone, but no one knew how to relate to the odd one in their midst. Simone Weil wrote of affliction as something that "seizes and uproots a life in all its parts ... social, psychological, and physical:" It makes the sufferer an outcast and life into an image of death. "Who am I, God?" The answer was a "standing up out of death to life," as Melanie Morrison has described resurrection. "You are my beloved child. I know you. You are all you ever have been. You'll always carry that with you. And you are all you are becoming. You'll learn the grace of resisting and accepting. I am with you in all of it:" And then, "Are you still my disciple? Don't ask for a pass to sit on the sidelines, because I have great need of you. You, my beloved child." That was almost twenty years ago. Nothing since has shaken my identity: disciple of Christ, bearer of treasure in an earthen vessel. As a person living with disability, I've discovered that I am differently-abled. I am clear in purpose and identity. I've cracked the illusion that we control our lives. Determination and perseverance still serve me well. I am more compassionate, creative, courageous, peaceful, perceptive, reflective, joyous, appreciative, whole. Yet, can I be whole while others are not? So I am passionate, energetic, and active in creative, powerful ways to work for healing and wholeness for all. As with many persons with disabilities, I say to the church, "Let me offer my gifts in the church. Let me minister to and with you:" God's power is at work in us, accomplishing far more than all we can ask or imagine. Arthritis functions as a spiritual discipline, keeping me keenly aware of my reliance on God, God's presence with me, and my connectedness with all people. I live in conversation with God and community, rooted and grounded in love. I seem to have missed the classic stages of bargaining and depression, perhaps because the word spoken to my identity crisis moved me to acceptance. Whatever happens with me, I am in God's hands. I say that not in resignation but in trust. In a sermon about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, Howard Thurman said, "We cannot fathom the mystery of God. We cannot even understand the meaning of our own little lives, but the fierce hold that we have on our lives, again and again, is the most real thing that we have. To relax that and to trust God ... not to hold things in some all-encompassing grasp; no, but to trust God just with you ... is the most difficult dimension of the spiritual life." I do experience anger. At the indifference, prejudice, and injustice that add suffering. I feel anger and lament at the barriers people erect. Where is it written that print must be tiny? That to sing we must rise to our feet ... it's not enough that our spirits rise up? That full participation in the body of Christ demands certain physical and mental capacity or certain race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, economic status? Who are we to order our lives, and life in our churches, in ways that exclude or diminish any of God's beloved? Our lives are lived in relation. Our reception of others is made possible by Christ's deep reception of us. I claim, with every other baptized disciple, "The life of Jesus is made visible in my body; we have this treasure, this treasure, in clay jars, earthen vessels:" Can you not perceive it? Questions and Activities 1. Major life changes or loss may provoke a sense of identity crisis, causing us to question, "Who am I now?" Is there a time you've felt this way? What has helped you? Can a congregation experience an identity crisis? What shapes your identity as a person? as a women's fellowship? as a congregation? What if the images you hold of yourself or another prove phony? Would you be willing to have them shattered to let new images arise? 2. Think of a person or community in the Bible who knew affliction. How did they respond? What questions were they living? What questions are you living? 3. Is a lament "just" complaining? Can a lament be an act of resistance? What does a lament say about our relationship with God? Read one of these Psalms: 22, 31, 42, 77, 88, 116, 123, or 137. Write a lament about something that causes you aggravation or suffering on a regular basis, perhaps even daily. You might begin, "I've got a right to sing the blues...... Or play some blues as you prepare. 4. What treasure do you bear in your ordinary, fragile being? How are you differently abled? How can you open yourself and your church to receive, value, and incorporate the treasure and abilities of others into your communal life? Resources Eiesland, Nancy L. The Disabled God: Toward a Liberatory Theology of Disability. Nashville, Tenn.: Abingdon, 1994. Heyward, Isabel Carter. The Redemption of God: A Theology of Mutual Relation. Washington, D.C.: University Press of America, 1982. Kiibler-Ross, Elisabeth. On Death and Dying. New York: Macmillan, 1969. Morrison, Melanie. The Grace of Coming Home: Spirituality, Sexuality, and the Struggle Justice. Cleveland, Oh.: The Pilgrim Press, 1995. Meditation Read Ephesians 3:16-19 or Romans 8:35,37-39. Read Matthew 19:14. Sit or lie quietly. Take several deep breaths. Perceive Jesus seated on a low stool in an inviting setting. Experience a soft, warm glow surrounding Jesus, filling the space. Perceive Jesus turning toward you, opening arms in invitation. Perceive yourself as a young child, moving into the gentle embrace. Rest on Jesus, soaking in the love, acceptance, protection, security, peace, comfort, assurance ... all that you need to receive for as long as you need. Gradually become aware of your current surroundings. Stay quiet for a few moments and offer a silent prayer. Suggested Music The Mudflower Collective. God's Fierce Whimsy: Christian Feminism and Theological Education. New York: The Pilgrim Press, 1985. Rhude, Beth E. Live the Questions Now: The Interior Life. Cincinnati, Oh.: The Women's Division, Board of Global Ministries, The United Methodist Church, 1980. Soelle, Dorothee. Suffering. Trans. Everett R. Kalin. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1975. Thurman, Howard. Temptations of Jesus: Five Sermons Given by Dean Howard Thurman in Marsh Chapel, Boston University, 196. Richmond, In.: Friends United Press, 1978. Weil, Simone. Waiting for God. Trans. Emma Craufurd. New York: Harper and Row, 1973. "Tu has venido a la orilla" ("You Have Come Down to the Lakeshore"). 173 TNCH Wuellner, Flora Slosson. Prayer, Stress, and Our Inner Wounds. Nashville, Tenn.: Upper Room, 1985. Women's Mosaic Series 2002 UCC Women's Resource Margaret (Peg) Slater, Editor

Written by Patricia Williams-Long Franklin Invocation Wonderful and generous God, you created us in your image. Thank you. Help us to live into your hopes and trust. Help us to be somebody in your image even when we are ordinary people going about our lives. Help us in the time of trial and in the times of joy and all the in-between times. We ask in the name of Jesus. Amen. 1 CHRONICLES 4:9, 10 THE NAME JABEZ MEANS pain or sorrow. Is it just possible that he was less than perfect in appearance, presentation, or had some other form of "disability"? During the times of Jabez, names were representative of the "man" and hopes and aspirations of the parent for the child. You've no doubt heard of the boy named Sue? Now, here is the boy named Pain, for Jabez was born in sorrow. To label someone as Pain or Sorrow is to attach some form of stigma, an unseen shackle. Was I born in pain? At the age of two, my grandmother dyed my hair with coffee grinds because I had "ugly white folks red hair," the color of corn silk. She loved me and, to this day, I love her. My mother supported me but could not protect me during years when I needed her most. She did the best with what she had, which in this lifetime has to be enough. I was the "stepchild" in every sense of the word from the day of birth. If not the step grandchild, then the child with the stepfather, step aunts, step cousins, never really belonging. Years of feeling like a "nobody," something unacceptable, outside the norm, was survivable only by creating a world within a world, the place I lived. I created myself strong. January 1988, an automobile accident left me unable to work. Two years and a myriad of doctors later, I was finally diagnosed with something called fibromyalgia and reflex sympathetic dystrophy. Did not matter what the cause, I was an achiever, and I would beat this thing. I spent years in different pain management, traditional and nontraditional therapy programs, refusing to learn about the diseases or read any insurance policies, because nothing would impede my mind-set of being healed and returning to the career I'd worked so hard to acquire. This was my independence and self worth. If you can truly claim independence, then work, vacation, romance, lifestyle, and so on, are all subordinate. Losing was not in my comprehension; after all, I had obtained a B.S. degree in 2 1/2 years, graduated with honors, was recruited by top CPA firms, become a successful businesswoman and, best of all, raised, with God's help, a beautiful person in the form of a son. I did not physically recover! My world came crashing in on me. No more work, golf, tennis, sitting, and walking at will, independence was gone. Worse yet, I now had to leave my world established in childhood, the one that trusted God and Christ and relied solely on me. I now had to allow others inside my inner being and had to learn to stop playing and living with the real world but actually to live within it. I had to learn to discard and forgive all the childhood traumas. This was accomplished by allowing others to really see and help me. I had to learn that accepting help does not always carry a debt of one's soul. I learned to really feel and express love and grief, not just think it. There was now a recognizable difference. I learned to grieve the death of my pre-accident life as well as that of my daughter a quarter century before. I learned that my imaginary, childhood developed friend Sheila, whose name I called in times of trouble, not knowing why, was God. When my independence as I knew it was taken, I thought my life was not worth living. What else could be worse? Well, my brother, who was really my best friend, and my mother's deaths were after my injury and, thank God, that the inevitable occurrences were during my mental recovery. It was during this time, so-called dying time, spent with my brother and mother, that I experienced and shared the love and understanding of both. Yes, lives have been taken. Three of those lives, mother, brother, and daughter, have been relocated and the other, mine, has been renewed through the love of God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit. No, it is not the life I planned, prepared for, and wanted. It is life! Two people during my early adulthood told me the same thing-"God's got plans for you. God has snatched you away from death's door many times. God has definite plans for you:' Well God, here I am, I'll do whatever you desire. Most times, I do not look disabled-no crutches or a wheelchair. Now, I bed rest several hours per day; some days I don't function at all, and the pain never ever ceases. Commitments are always tentative, based on the functioning of my body, mind, vision, and pain level. I look for the blessings that I now consider an entitlement. God has blessed me along God's path. I am a "somebody," a child of God who has time to hear the word. When I was a child, step-grandfather used to sing a song in church: "Keep that mote out of your eye and I'll try to keep it out of mine" (the only words I can remember). The mote removal is an achievable, ongoing struggle; we need only be perceptive. Appropriately, I need only look around and see the manifestation of the Jabez prayer. I was blessed by the birth of a grandson, a loving son, and the finding of new friends willing to accept my limitations along with theirs. I've learned who I am and the expansive capabilities of love. l say I have been blessed indeed. My borders have been expanded beyond the ability to write and the awarding of a scholarship for a degree in biblical studies, resulting from "writing" an essay in competition. I've been able to hear the emissary of God speak to me and provide comfort. I wrote and read my first published composition, an obituary and poem for my brother. My brother is now a member of God's heavenly orchestra. I heard the music and accepted the consolation. Ronnie is forever with me, and my mother with both of us. I have a family, friends, a home, acquaintances, fellow Christians, and the Holy Trinity. I am blessed indeed! Suggested Hymns "Glory, Glory Hallelujah" 2 TNCH "Bless God, O My Soul" 549 TNCH Reflection Questions 1. There is a message here in the scripture. In the midst of naming the members of the family of Judah, the authors of Chronicles felt the need to tell us about Jabez in verses nine and ten, and then it's back to naming the family members. Jabez is not spoken of again. Why do you think he warranted such a diversion? 2. What role do negative thoughts and names play in your day-to-day life? Try this exercise. On a piece of paper, folded in half, think of and write down one word that describes the worst events of your day. Now, on the bottom half, think of and write down one word that describes the best events of your day. Open the page, look at both words and decide which one you want to describe you and why. Find a Bible verse(s) that supports and provides supplement to your "you;" for example, Psalm 121. 3. Have you spent time with you? Try using imagery: Turn on some music, some without the distracting interruptions of a disc jockey, sit or lie down, now think of something or a picture that you like. Go there in your mind. If you practice this, you will be able to do it quicker. You may find it to be very relaxing and can be beneficial in stress and pain relief and/or just spending time with God. 4. What does it mean to be "a child of God"? a person with disabilities? someone in pain? Women's Mosaic Series 2002 UCC Women's Resource Margaret (Peg) Slater, Editor

In God's Image A Service of Installation Material Needed A space that is accessible to everyone, even if you are not aware that anyone needs accessible space. A table, or smaller tables, that everyone can gather around. Two white paper placemats should be at each place, if refreshments are to be served ... just set the table with the placemats stacked. Pens to write with (if you use markers, make sure they are not toxic, crayons would be better ... less odorous). Gathering Music "We Gather Together" 421 TNCH Litany Leader: We gather here at this welcome table to worship and thank God. People: Thank you, Loving One, for creating us in your image. Leader: We gather so that all of us may offer our gifts to you. People: Our gifts vary, O Loving One, but they are yours. We will work together to serve you in this place. Leader: We gather around this/these tables, God's table, just as we are, made in your image, beautiful women, all. People: We thank you for your trust in us to live into our image. All we bring to this table is yours. Amen. Offering Take one of your place mats. Look at and recognize that everyone is invited to God's table. Also, be aware that to set the table requires work. Today, we are installing new leaders to help set the table in this place. Take a pen or crayon and write (some may need assistance here): What you will do to make this church welcome and accessible to all people. What you will do to assist your new leadership in the coming year. 1 What you will do for yourself to honor your gifts and abilities? Reading Genesis 1:26-31 God is pleased with what God has done in creation. God has also charged us with much. Today, we call those who will take leadership in this to come forward to be installed. Leader: We give thanks for you and your leadership. We give thanks for your faithfulness, your love of God and congregation, and the hope you bring to us. People: We thank you, God, for sending us these leaders. Leader: Having prayerfully considered the responsibilities of this ministry, are you prepared to use your gifts in service to the church and Newly Elected Officers: Yes, with God's help. Leader: With God's help, we can live into our image and gather our differing gifts. We can use these gifts to make this open and welcoming to all. We can enrich this congregation by modeling what it is to understand that all people are created in God's image and have a place at God's table. We will be learners, risk-takers, and faithful followers of Christ. People: We will indeed. Leader: People of faith, let us affirm our commitment to our newly elected officers. (Gather all the place mats in a basket and bring them to the new officers). Please accept these as part of our promises. Let us make a joyful noise in our officers' honor (clap, sing. etc.). Closing Music "Won't You Let Me Be Your Servant?" 539 TNCH WE102 Designed and printed by United Church Resources, Local Church Ministries Women's Mosaic Series 2002 UCC Women's Resource Margaret (Peg) Slater, Editor