United Church of Christ Disabilities Ministries

United Church of Christ Disabilities Ministries » Welcome to Holland – Emily Pearl Kingsley

Welcome to Holland – Emily Pearl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this . . .

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, Michelangelo’s David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.” “Holland?” you say, “What do you mean Holland? I signed up for Italy I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.” But there’s been a change in flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland, and there you must stay.

The most important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It’s just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for awhile and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

The pain of that will never, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

From UCC DM Newsletter Archive

Sunday, July 21st, 2002 Articles Shared, Families/Children, Worship Resources Trackback URL for this entry

5 Comments

1. Sr. Marci Blum replies at 30th January 2007, :

I would like to use the article Welcome to Holland by Emily Pearl Kingsley. Where do I get permission to use her article? Thank you.
2. Dee replies at 2nd February 2007, :

Emily Pearl Kingsley’s article has been widely circulated in support groups and medical circles.Please credit as follows: As published in “That All May Worship and Serve,” July, 2002, as published on the United Church of Christ Disabilities Ministries web site at http://www.uccdm.org/2000/07/21/acceptance-of-your-child-welcome-to-holland/. Most recent contact information for Emily Pearl Kingsley: 12 Justine Ct
Briarcliff Manor, NY 10510-2534
(914) 923-2995
3. Percy Wunderlich replies at 23rd January 2009, :

I would like to suggestion to our principal the sharing of Ms. Kingsley’s poem in our monthly school’s newsletter. Is it acceptable to do so if we site: As published in “That All May Worship and Serve,” July, 2002, as published on the United Church of Christ Disabilities Ministries web site at http://www.uccdm.org/2000/07/21/acceptance-of-your-child-welcome-to-holland/. Most recent contact information for Emily Pearl Kingsley: 12 Justine Ct
Briarcliff Manor, NY 10510-2534
(914) 923-2995
4. Heidi Webber replies at 6th September 2009, :

I am a mother of a 5 year old with Down syndrome. I am proposing to do a masters degree on the impact on the family dynamics of having a differently abled sibling and child and would like to reference to and use “Welcome to Holland” in this thesis. How do I obtain permission to do this? Kind regards Heidi Webber, South Africa
5. Webmaster replies at 6th September 2009, :

Please see comment #3. This article has been widely published.